I love being a grandparent. Although my grandchildren are still quite young, I can certaintly see them coming up with some of the below statements. I hope you enjoy.
Being a Grandparent
> 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
> of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she
> applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma,
> you > forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!' I will probably never put lipstick
> on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
> 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
> .....He asked me how old I was, and I told him, '62.' He was quiet for a
> moment, > and then he asked, 'Did you start at 1?'
> 3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
> slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the
> children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally,
> she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them
> back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the
> three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
> 4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
> childhood was like: 'We used to skate outside on a pond I had a swing made
> from a > tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild
> raspberries in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all
> in. At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
> 5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know
> how you and God are alike?' I mentally polished my halo and I said, 'No,
> how are we alike?' ' You're both old,' he replied.
> 6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
> processor. She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
> 'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'
> 7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
> decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was.
> She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying, 'Grandma, I think you should try to
> figure out some of these yourself!'
> 8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
> lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a
> few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered,
> 'It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with
> flashlights.'
> 9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not
> sure.' 'Look in your underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'Mine says I'm four
> to six.'
> 10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
> 'Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today. 'The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep 'her cool. 'That's interesting,' she said, 'how do you make babies?' ''It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'
> 11. Children's Logic: 'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a
> teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.'
> The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant
> means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means
> carrying a child.'
> 12. A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
> home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the
> truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.'
> 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child. 'No,' said another.
> 'He's just for good luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close.
> 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants.'